I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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