So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
