We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Randomize
