so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize