You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
