It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
