I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
