i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
