I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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