you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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