After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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