Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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