i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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