I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
