I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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