yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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