I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
NoShamevember. You game?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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