so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
