it wasn't lemon gatorade
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
