you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
