You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
