McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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