PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
