Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
