sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
