don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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