Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
