I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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