turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
