Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
