plz talk dirty to me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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