I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
