Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
