Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
