I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
