do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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