your parents love me but you hate me
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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