Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
