I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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