Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
