i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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