no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
