so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
