i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
