i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
