bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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