Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
