I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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