I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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