He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
