yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
