I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
